Sunday

The hollidays went by unnotised, i didn't even know it was christmas. For the better i think. Still drifting..hovering in a sense. Doing nothing during the days, stay up during the nights to do more nothing, not much happening. Have to readapt soon when school starts, go back to going to bed earlier and waking up at a semi-sane hour.

In a way i enjoy being alone, at least now it seams. I haven't spent much time alone for a long time, this might be good..i think. Still wanna go to the Aquarum and the Zoo but that will have to wait. Should read my marketing book, and i do, but not enough. In a way i think i enjoy this solitary existance right now, naybe it's what i need. Only been on vecation for a week with two weeks to go and i already just wanna go back to school.

Wednesday

Roommate left the day before yesturday, have been thinking about this ever since, why don't i feel things others feel? Is there somthing wrong with me? Or is it a good thing that i am spared these inconvenient and pointless feelings. It can be, just not when it hurts the few people i love. Sometimes i wish i had more empathy, i'm the one who can spot a psychopath a mile away, so why is it i can't figure myself out? I love him and therefore i hurt him? is it true that i indeed might be the lion and not the lamb? So stupid..these questions. Sometimes i wish i could be like those silly girls who cry because their friend is leaving, even though they will see her soon, i don't remember myself crying when i left my friends and my whole life to go to this empty desert for six months. Might it be that i am as cold as i always try to convince Jen she isn't? And yet the only person who can make me cry is the one i always hurt the most. Why? And more importantley, will i ever have the strenght to stop?

I'm in a vast hole of ignorance and apathy, again. Maybe i just don't wanna care right now, maybe i'm just protecting myself unconsciously. Who cares right? Watch Twilight on a loop, makes me feel better i guess. Pathetic. Dunno. I'm done.

Sunday

Been soo tired this week with the presentation and the partying, i have been partying a bit too much. Have to write 2 reports this week and 2 more at the end of next.
Roommate is awsome and fun, but she is leaving for the islands tomorrow and comes back on Friday just to leave for Italy next Monday. I'm jelous since she is going home.

Nothing special planned for x-mass exept beach with olga and mabe dinner at her place.
Right now i really just miss my baby i haven't spent x-mass without him since we met. And i've never talked to him this little for such long periods of time.

It has been raining here for the last 3 days, yesturday i desided to stop fighting it and walked home barefoot. It was kinda nice to feel the grass and the pavement. Haven't done that since i was a chind.

Sunday

I know i have been a bad girl, haven't had the time or energy to update this week(s). My camera is dead and i keep forgetting to load it. Gonna have to load it for wednesday, since i'm photographing the party and the preperation, so there will be a bunch of pictures of people filling upp helium balloons, and i'm sure there will be a fare share of goofing around with those helium balloons. I'm seriously considering wearing my LBD to the party, just to be rebelious since it's a white theme.

Have a bunch of homework, big parts of which i finished yesturday, just have a report in Event Industry Knowlede, but that's due at the end of all four cources on the 18th. (But by then it will have to be 4000 words)

Also have a presentation of an event pitch on Tuesday, i'm the Director, haha that's a funny thought. I'm not really the Director type.

In general, lots of homework, sunny weather which of course i can't enjoy because of my homework and some exitement about the upcoming party. Also a lot of stress. And of course i miss my baby soo much.

I swear i will have pictures up here sometime next week, after the party and the presentation of the cheque on Friday.

And i got a new roomie yesturday, she is Italian and has a shoe fetish, i'm sencing we're gonna get along just fine.

Tudelu!

Wednesday

So the Event is getting closer and i'm getting more stressed, but all in all we have the majour points covered, Venue, theme, DJ, date. Haha. But atleast i'm having fun with it. Was bored yesturday so i coloured my hair. It's a little more reddish now but looks very even and natural. Started making sushi more often, who says you have to eat Ramen when you'r a student. However i do enjoy Ramen. Hommade sushi is my student-diet. The theme for the Event is White Night so i'm planning to wear that gorgeous dress my babe gave me for my birthday. I am also gonna be the official photographer during the party. Haha, only presentable pictures since the school board is gonna see them. After all we are all grown up and presentable students...Sorta.
I'm gonna try to update more pics soon but i have just been too lasy to load my camera, and i've started switching all the z's for s's since that is the Australian spelling, at least for now.
Oh well chiao for now.

Sunday

Roommate finally mooving out today, i couldn't be happier to get my room back. Have been in this weekend since it has been raining. Friday night i went out with Olga and her very fun work mates, and it got a little dramatic at the end but we had a blast anyway. After that me and Olga went to a pub to relax and i got beer-educated by the extremly nice bartender. I really love Darling Harbour, it's the one place i Sydney i find cosy.

Well that and the beach, but the beach is just not the same here, i miss Santa Monica and the pier, the one that made me feel at home and the one that reminded me of the pier in Lost Boys. I really miss that. Standing under the pier and watching the waves and the sunset.

I don't know where my place is anymore, right now i just wanna go home, but on the other hand i could live on the beaches of Bahamas or even in Santa monica, as long as it is by the beach. Or in Boston, where i really feel at home. I just can't figure out my life and what i want. I guess despite my fear of the water i am drawn to it in the end. I just wish i could see somthing clearly, i wanna work in event but that is right now, what will i want in a year? I change my mind so much and i can't help it. But i am passionate about the ideas i have, but then it fades. I have to figure out what i want. But what i really want is to live on some empty beach with my soulmate for the rest of our lives, but i can't ignore the world, i can't live outside of it, i somehow have to find a place in it and that is the biggest problem for me, i'm not sure i want a place in it. I mean in the end i already have what's most important to me...Roy.

Wednesday

Had my first Event meeting yesturday, but i was so hyped about the Australia premiere i forgot to mention it at all. The teaches wanted to meet us almost two weeks before our first Event course starts, and it turned out to be a meeting for an event we're planing on the 11 December. It's a cherity party for the whole college, meaning about 1200 people, if everyone where to come that is. There are about 9 student in the Event Management programe and we have less than a month to plan it from scratch and with no budget. Haha, that should be fun!
We get a hotel and a bar, and the rest is donations. i'm exited about it and about starting my Event courses. When i was sitting at that meeting i felt like i really belonged, i got a feeling that i was doing somthing i really love and somthing that i feel i'm good at, or will be in 4,5 months anyway.

I miss home soo much but right now i'm just happy to be busy and stressed about school.

Tuesday

SAW THE PREMIERE FOR AUSTRALIA TODAY!
It was on the street that i live on.
I've never seen a premier so close before, Nicole Kidman is soo gorgeous. Wanted to get a good pic of Wolverine but he was shy. The pic's aren't good but at least they serve as a reminder that i was there.

Tuesday

I'm mooving to the Bahamas!
There! Now it's official.
I have a big split in my personality, on one hand i'm exited to out into the business world and live in a place like New York, and on the other hand i just wanna move to a beach in the Bahamas and get a job at some hotel and have the "Into the Blue" lifestyle. Now tell me you woulden't do the same if you had a chance?
I've started reserching jobs in event in Sthlm and in Nassau (aka. New Providence, main island Bahamas)

Monday

Went to Bondi Beach today after class, it was a little cold when we got there around 17.30 but still nice. Saw a bunch of people surfing, it looked very nice and i actually wanna try it. I've also been reaserching alot the last days, about the event companies in Sthlm to which i will apply when i get back, but also about working in the Bahamas and getting a boat license. So i have a lot on my mind right now. Probably going back to the beach on friday since i don't have classes and my roommate gets off school at 12.30.

Above: little me on the beach; my favorite place!

Sunday

Whent swimming in the pool at UniLodge yesturday evening, not a soul in the whole pool and spa area so me and my roomie desided that we're gonna swim in the evening, like yesturday, at about 22.00 every day. I ended up swiming 400m since i haven't exercised in soo long, but i will increase it gradually.I'm hoping that it will give me a beach body just in time for the Australian summer. Whent to sydney University today and since it's Sunday it was pretty deserted. It's soo beautiful, i can actually consider going there for e few years, so i think i'm gonna scedule a tour and counseling there some time soon just to see what it has to offer me education-wise. Above are a few of the pictures i took of Sydney University.

Saturday

Whent to finally see the Opera House yesturday, whent thrue the troppical garden and saw the cutest flying foxes hanging in trees. Today was a bit rainy but me and my new roommate whent to Manly beach anyway. The picture above is our apartament. (or a part of it anyway.) On the left is the view of Sydney buisness district from the Opera, right: Opera House from the ferry.

Thursday

Sitting in computer class, being bored. 2h to go and i'm done with everything. Roommate moving in tomorrow and i'm feeling a mixture of exitement and fear. Hope we get along. God i hate computer class, i'm not good at it but i'm too lazy to actually practice. Not much else is new so update later

Tuesday

Just saw the Melbourne Cup even though i am generally against horse racing since it ruines their legs and phsyche. But i am fasinated by the horses' commitment and will to please their jockeys. The winning horse this year is Viewed and his jockey Blake Shinn. The trainer is Bart Cummings who has won the Cup 12 times. I love watching these beatutiful horses because most of them actually enjoy running when it comes down to it, it's just a shame that they need to be so stressed. The cute thing is that i actually saw the winning horse's groom kiss him on the muzzle. You can see him on the inside in the picture.

Sunday

The first week abroad has been hard, but i find myself settling in ok. I am aloan in my little student apartament at the moment but will be getting a roommate on friday. I feel scared at times, living aloan and all, doing my own laundry, which for me is a much hated task. But that's ok, i'll learn! Thank God that i'm presistant by nature. In the living room of my apartament there is a painting reproduction of a Venetian palazzo by Monet, this comforts me when i am sad, and i see it as a sign that this apartament and i have an understanding. I mean what are the odds of getting a painting of Venice in my room, comsidering that there are hundreds of rooms in this student housing.

Thursday

Finnaly got my internet working today after almost a week of starvation. I'm deleriously happy about that. Have been in my dorm, watching series and movies for the past two days since i'm free from school. Have had orientation this week so not that exiting yet. Have been on my first food and phone shopping round at the mall across the street from my dorm. On my way to school i pass chinatown and a few thai stores, they make me feel like home. Otherwise not much new so far, to lazy to write right now. Can't wait untill school starts for real on monday!
Miss my raccoon-baby!

SYDNEY, Saturday

First post since i got to Sydney! I've been meaning to update but haven't had the time or energy, for that i apologise. The first day here (yesturday) was spent on a 9.00 am lecture about Art and Arkitekture. It actually made me more exited about collagte. I also found my dorm by accident, it looks beautiful and i move in tomorrow. Will update later.

Friday

Got most of my errands done today, feelt kinda relieving. Meeting mom tomorrow to do whatever it is she want's to do with me. Just have to buy my air-socks and i'll be done, haha i love my air-socks even though i have no clue what they are for. Reminds me of Carrie's column that "socked"!
Anywho, not much new, Jen comes home on Monday...that's fun i guess!
Boring update today i know, but someone's gotta do it!

Here you can have a cute pic to make up for the boring update. ---->

Thursday

Birthday went by without grand events, a full day of sulking in my PJ's followed by a dinner at a sushi buffé that i was dragged to kicking and whining, but it did lift my what's-in-the-toilet-mood. (Thanx sweety for dragging me out into the civilized world where pants are worn!)
Mood a little better today, i should pack but don't seem to be able to start, all i've packed so far is a huge book about Marketing Management. Inspiring i know!
At this point im not sure that there will be an outing on saturday anymore, don't have the energy to socialize at the moment. But we'll see i guess. Im also pushing the tripp to the drugstore, where i have to buy flying-socks, haha.

Monday

Started packing for Sydney today, realised i have to do laundry, blah. I never did get the whole separate-the-whites-and-blacks-thing. Haha i'm gonna do sooo well doing my own laundry in college. Have a few more errands to run before the 22:d but most of it is done. My 21:st birthday is on wednesday but since it's a weekday i plan to extend my bar tab on saturday instead. Or to be precise other peoples bar tabs, so buy me drinks people!
Not much more happening at the moment, so updates later.

Saturday

Back from Venice a few days ago, and still not quite over it in the sence that it was totaly amasing! More beautiful than i remember it from my few short hours there last time. I'm still there in my mind even as i start packing for Sydney. My birthday is aproaching and my honey coulden't wait and gave me my preasent early. It made me think of the dress they had in one of the shop windows in Venice, a wedding dress from the 1700 hundreds, the 18th century inspired chemise i got for my birthday looks like somthing that shuld be under this dress, it gives me the same feeling.

Tuesday (2)

Yeah, i'm bored out of my mind.
This is one of my body inspirations, AnnaLynne McCord, plays a hot school girl in both Nip/Tuck and Transporter 2 and looks damn good in a uniform. Now i have always been a great fan of school uniforms and wished my school had them, but since they diden't i got myself one, and wore it to school ocasionaly, it did look a little wierd (in a good way) but it was hot nonetheless!
But GOD her waist is so small. Hmm note to self; should start taking black and white pictures...

Tuesday

Got a little chaotic with STA student travel today, thay messed up but i'm hoping that i can fix it before friday. Have been running around town trying to fix the papers all day fueled only by a single espresso, now i think that is kinda inpressive. I have to say i adapt good to stress, it actually makes me more efficient.
Venice is approaching and i'm getting more exited by the minute. Already started to pack my overnightbag. Although i left it less than half-packed since i plan to bring stuff home from the tripp.
Just installed a hit counter on this blog, so visit so that i can look good online!

I also plan to bring 2-3 memory cards for my camera because i plan to photograph every waking and non-waking moment of the tripp. (But then again i don't plan to sleep more than 3 mabe 4 hours a night, it whould be sacrelige to waste time in Venice on sleep)

Wednesday

Today i booked the hotel for my Vence trip! I've never been this exited, as the eternal Golden City awaits me i do all the preporatory reading, Venetian art, architecture, Casanova and life in the 15th century. The hotel that i booked (picture) is a small family place built during the 15th century, it's about 1 minute walking distance from Piazza San Marco and 3 minutes from the Rialto bridge. It was my first pick and it was miraculously avalable, its tucked away in a small alley overlooking a small canal, it has a real-every-day-life-in-Venice-during-the-15th-century-feel about it. I guess not many people know about it, but Venice is full of secrets, secret meetings with secret lovers in secret streets and canals. It's going to be wonderfull.

Friday

Ok, all the grades are in now and i'm officially done with all my cources. It's all free time from here, or at least one and a half month from now. How shall i pass the time..? Oh well i'll come up with somthing i guess. There is always Cáfe-scouting, shopping or i dunno worst case scenario drinking beer at the irish pub with friends. I'm sure i can find somthing to occupy my time with.

Sunday

Ok final week of courses is over, can't do anything but wait now. Will probably get my grades sometime next week. Can't wait until this is behind me and i can fully focus on packing for Sydney and just enjoy the free time i have left. I don't actually have any plans for what i'm gonna do these two months before i go.
I really should start exercising some. Oh well, nothing fun to declare yet...mabe later.

Thursday

Boring week of basically just studying. But tomorrow it's party time. Going to Luncy, a goth club. So i finally get to wear the corset i bought a few months ago. The Playboy party is on saturday and i was thinking of wearing a school uniform. No final desicions yet. Otherwise still stressed with all the preparations for Sydney and the final cources.

Saturday

Still struggling with math...and some filosophy. But it will all be over in about two weeks. Of course in two months i go off to college and will probably have to struggle with harder things than high school math...but then again...i REALLY hate math in all shapes and forms. Oh well moving on. Saw the Sex and the city movie today, kinda like it and i really did get inspired as far as the clothes go...It feels like i've had so many other things to think about that i've bareley even gotten dressed at all. (Everyday jeans and a t-shirt don't count.)
I really feel that i haven't had time to dress upp even for every day, to be honest i haven't left the house that much since i came back from LA. I have just stayed at home reading my filosophy, and i have to say all those filosophical thoughts tire me out. I have to get out next friday, to the Playboy party and do just that...Party!
(After i'm done with my homework of course)
I realise that i'm always waiting to finish somthing, i keep putting my social life on pause, and it's not like i'm gonna get done with school in a while so i might as well have fun while studying. Well i can't put my life on hold...can i? My studying and partying will just have to learn to co-exist!

Updates to come!

Saturday

Been burried in math and filosophy this week, God i hate math! Can't wait till' i go to Sydney, living by the ocean and surfing in the morning =P (despite my fear of water i'm gonna learn how to surf and perhaps drive a boat)
I'm now on my second week of my finnal courses, with three weeks to go. After i'm done i might go away on vecation for a few days, since i have nothing better to do. I am currently waiting for my visa aplication to be revied and buying the ticket to Sydney, after that i have a whole month of nothing to do so i might as well go on a mini vecation. I hope it's gonna be Venice!

Tuesday

Alot in the works at the moment, got my loan approved yesturday, now i just have to apply for an Australian visa and after that i have to buy the ticket! I'm all studying at the moment so not much else fits in my daily schedule for now. Update later i guess..?

Friday

Have been working for a week straight now, used to it now.
My life at this moment, revolves around Heath as the Joker in the Dark Knight...You are truly missed and have left an infinite emptieness behind...

Wendsday

Exited today, got my Berkeley catalogue, which can only be compared to the feeling of buying an expensive bag...which i just did, a Hermes Birkin to be exact!
Tomorrow is the first day at The Job, a little nervous but it should be ok.
The Bag shuld arrive in a week or so. In general, all the college papers have been sent out concerning the loan and all that is left is to wait and to apply for a student visa. I'll know in about two weeks.

Thursday

Got my Natural scienses cource donne today, finally! Feels good to be home at last, got my nails donne last day in L.A. still trying to get used to typing fast with them...if i may say so myself i'm doing kinda good all things considerd. Oh well have about two weeks of meetings and freetime, and then my two last cources. Have a meeting with Nathalie at GoStudy tomorrow to go thrue the uppcoming loans and all. I'm currently exited and in full speed mode, dident sleep at all last night becouse i diden't wanna lose any valuable study-time. It feels like i'm home yet not back completely. I'm kinda floating in between...but in between what and what i'm not sure of...

Thursday

Ok, pics of the fabulous bag are officially up! Photographed the hell of it this morning. Grandma flying in today, going to Rodeo Drive with her in a few hours. Bag, of course, is going with me!

Wednesday

I just got the biggest surprise in my life, somthing i've wanted for as long as i can remember but somthing i definitley diden't think i whuld be getting THIS soon. I fell asleep during the day today cuz it was so hot, when i woke up i saw the most beautiful brown bag i've ever seen...with the words "Louis Vuitton" written on it. First i thought i was still sleeping, but then it was still there. I have the bag in front of me and it still doesen't seem real! I refused to open it, thinking it must atleast be a scarf or mabe a keychain, (any of those whuld have made me extremly happy, and are very expensive.) but i never dared to imageine that it might be a Bag, and not any Bag, the exact bag i've wanted for as long as i could remember! I never thought i would get it NOW, or from my relatives, who have already been so nice to me. I see this Bag as a symbol for coming to a cornerstone in my life, part of which is going to be going off to college in october. I'm still afraid to touch it! Haha i had to go shower just to touch it. I'll take a picture of it as soon as i get over the shock!

Tuesday

Thought i'd post some of the jewellery i've bought resently. There is a company called 1928 that makes vintage looking jewellery that really looks vintage, and i love it. 1928.com

Sunday

Blah, baby left today. Miss him already, but i guess i'll see him in a week. I have in general been a bad bad blogger, not had the mental energy to update at all, guess i'm a little tired, and i preferred spending time with the boyfriend rather than uploading pic's to the blog...shame on me. But i hope to improve this last week that i'm here in LaLa-land. Grandma comming in on thursday, she's gonna stay with her relatives...and mine that is. They happen to live in Beverly Hills, or more specifically Rodeo Drive. Hm, that sounds exiting. Pic's are on the way, just don't know where to start since we've been clicking non-stop. In general life is good, all the presents are bought for the loved ones and the baggs packed. Now i just have to buy somthing to wear this week...Mabe i'll wear my brand new, boyfriend-bought Michael Kors pumps to the relatives in Rodeo Drive!

Oh well...decisions, decisions!

Friday

Long night...long day. Had my last test in the natural sciences tonight. Phew it was nerve wracking, i'm glad it's over. Today is Margarita-day, i'm making Margaritas for everyone to celebrate the end of my course...and to get smashed in general, you never really need a reason for that! ;P
Planning to go to Melrose and Hollywood tomorrow and mabe go thrue Rodeo Drive since it's on the way. Mabe beach on sunday? Dunno haven't planned it yet. Also wanna go to little Osaka again.
Have a bunch of stuff to photograph for this blog but i've just been too lazy, and had too much work this week. Hoping to catch up on the pic's this weekend.

Tuesday

Whent on a big walk today around UCLA and Wilshire boulevard, came about a third of the way to West hollywood and Sunset Blv. Considering we live in Westwood next to UCLA i think thats a good walk. (With a baby stroller) Thought i'd post a map of L.A. just to track it.

Monday

Still hate mondays....
Yesturday was fun, we went back to the mall for the videogame tournament. It was so fun and they are so nice there, it was kinda intimate and not that many people, a very friendly atmosphere. They have those tournaments every week so we're going back next weekend. They even suggested that i come drunk next time so i can play too. (I tend to win at videogames when i'm drunk) After that we shoppes some at the mall, sneakers for me and some stuff at hot topic.
We finally found the little Osaka distrikt that is at a alking distance from the house. It was awsome, had all kinds of stores and LOADS of cute stuff, i got tired of aaw-ing! We shopped some at a Japanese food market too and bought cute cell phone straps. ( Which is a must at a Japanese store) Local Japanese say it has the same atmasphere as Japan. Going back there tonight i think. But i also have to go to Ross to buy some presents for mom and grandma.

Saturday

Whent to Santa Monica today, did a little shopping. Then mall, power anime store that i've wanted to go to for two months and that i wanted to show to baby, so we bought a biiiig Kirby there, cutest thing ever. The girl who worked there was a devoted fan and even had a Kirby tatoo on her hip.
It was awsome!
Going back there tomorrow cuz they have some sort of tournament. Neeerd stuff but oh so cute.

Friday

Today is a particularly slow day since i'm waiting for it to end. Royski flyes in at 12:22 pm, 7 minutes earlier than sceduled and i can't wait to see him. Yesturday was cleaning day, mainly so that we don't have to do it during the weekend. It felt kinda good to clean the apartament, i always feel so satisfied when it's done, i guess it's kinda theraputic. Not much happening today...yet. Thaught we'd go to Santa Monica during the weekend, or downtown to little Tokyo. Well somthing fun anyway.

I guess uppdates later..?

Monday

God knows i hate mondays, but thankfully baby is coming at the end of the week. Still depressed that i'm leaving, the perfect scenario whuld be staying here until october and going to Sydney from here, and having my lugage fedexed there. I am now seriously considering going to Santa Monica college for one or two years and then transfering to Berkeley NY to finish my degree. (Studying 4 years in total) They have a 100% transfer rate between the two colleges so that won't be a problem. Gonna go to Santa Monica some time in the coming weeks to get all the info and a catalogue. In general i miss my muffin and i wanna shop...well i did alittle shopping the other day, bought a gorgeous Nine West wallet, it's the perfect size!

Saturday night

Just came back from the BBQ party and it was sooo awsome, love those people. The guy whose 60:th birthday it was, had his son and niece there, and i loved talking to them, his son is a marine and just got back from a year in Irak, even though he doesen't support the war. He told me he had ten months left and after that he was going to college in San Diego. He was soo nice talking to, it's rare to fina a person that you can really talk to, about anything. They also have the cutest pit bull, i'm completly in love with that dog, he sounds like Darth Vader! I ended up scratching him half the night, we're buddies now him and me.
They have a little house in Riverside and a view on a mountain, on which they have fireworks on the 4:th of July. But i'm planing to watch the fireworks in Beverly Hills from Hugh Hefners mansion, since he's the only civilian in all of L.A. that has a fireworks permit and has awsome fireworks every year. Haven't figured out exactly where i'm gonna be yet but i'll see if i can see them from our rooftop. I'd really like to go to Riverside but that will be hard if Boyfriend is here since we don't have enough room in the car, there is a train going but i think i'm to lazy to take it.
Oh well we will see i guess.

The thing is that i love it here, i have no words to describe it but i wanna stay here and go to Santa Monica college, and then transfer to Berkeley NY after 2 years so that i can be here the first two years. Australia is gonna be awsome but i really wanna live here or in New York...i guess i have some time left to decide.

Anyway the party was awsome and i got to try a shot of whisky with the son of the birthday-man =P we had fun and i hope to see them again soon.

Friday

Ok, so i'm messed up, tomorrow is the b-day party and next sunday we're going to the beach party. Alot to keep track of...
Haven't decided what to wear yet, but i'm thinking jeans a and a cute top tomorrow and my pink bikini with the suuuuuuper short black Von Dutch skirt and a tube top to the beach party. Come to think of it Roy is probably gonna be here in time for the beach party next week, that will be a nice start of you'r tripp babe! Can't wait!
All the homework finished for this week so it's party time!!
And i have my last assigment next week and after that this course ends and i don't have another one until August. So next sunday i'm really gonna party for several reasons!

Oh well, time for my beauty sleep!

XOXO!

Thursday

Busy week, have a day off tomorrow..kinda. Danil is taking the kids to the doctor for a checkup and i get to stay home and finish reading my book. Can't wait till' saturday, cuz we're going to a beach party in Newport or Riverside dunno what the beach is called yet. I finnaly get to work on my now already existing, kinda dark tan. Hardly recognize myself this taned. And another strange thing is that people keep asking me for directions...but that's not the strange thing, the strange thing is that i can actually give them to people! I'm becoming a local.

Can't wait till' the 20:th cuz my baby is coming!

Monday

So diet is off for now, or untill i get home, since i'm just to tired to do it in my current hectic situation. Miss my baby and hope he joines me here soon, he's suposed to come June 20:th.
I'm currently out of money and don't even have time to go shopping so i guess that's good. (Being to busy to shop, not the absence of money part, thet's never good.)
Bought a stuffed animal to keep me company yesturday, saw it at Ralph's and just coulden't NOT buy it, he now sleeps loyally on my pillow. Gonna try to go down to Santa Monica beach next weekend to get a tan. Am in general swamped with school untill the 20:th, so i'm kinda tired and don't always have time to uppdate the blog. Life is proceding as always and i'm stressed out about school...as always. I hope some things never change, but on the other hand other things have to change. (I'm working on that.)

Still a few things i wanna buy and a few pounds i wanna loose. Although yesturday i got into a pair of capri jeans that where a size to small for me a month ago so i guess that's somthing to be perky about.

I am also feeling frustrated becouse i have no idea what's gonna happen to my life, i'm at a transitional phase and it scares the shit out of me. I guess it's normal but i am just so confused. On one hand i love it here L.A. is my kind of place and i'd love to one day plan a party at the Playboy mansion, but right now all i seem to wanna do is go home to Roy and my family. (And friends of cource.) I just wanna hide in our room and chill all day like we did before i left, but i know we can't do that since we're grownups now and have to take responsibility. I know i have to start living and get a job, an education and a career, and i want to, i long for all that. But i'm also scared to fail, and have always been. I'm scared of changing and not being the same person anymore or not wanting the same things. But on the other hand i wanna change, for the better, evolve and dare to take chanses.

I'm not sure what i'm gonna do when i get home, on one hand i wanna be with my family and friends and just chill, while i still can, but on the other i'm not sure i wanna see anyone, i'm afraid, dunno of what exactly. I'm somehow ashamed i will have changed. All i wanna do is study to secure my college education and work my ass of in school. I know i have to make sacrifices to get where i want and i'm ready to make them. Right now it just feels like i'm waiting for my life to start, even here in the heart of L.A. it doesen't feel like i'm living it up as i shuld, i'm just drifting, waiting for somthing to happen. I can't bring myself to have fun in the proces. But the "proces" is another 5 years atleast, so i have to try otherwise i'm going to miss out on things. I mean i'm gonna have to work all my life to get the things i want, am i never gonna have fun? I'm not really sure what i'm whaiting for...but i wanna start living. I wanna be preppy and happy like i used to be, and yes i like the "Girls of the Playboy mansion" series, and i'm blonde and have big boobs, (Real ones.) and some days i wear all black, but that's not all of me, there are other sides, i just get frustrated that i have to be judged by what i appear like and there is nothing i can do about that. I'm confused and afraid that feeling will never pass...

Thursday June 5:th

Havent had time to update in a while now. But i've desided to go on the Master Cleanser diet, or it's not really a diet, it's actually a fast. I feel i need to make an official change in my life, since i'm going off to college and all.

So this is what the diet/fast consists of:

2 Tablespoons lemon or limejuice (approx. ½ lemon)
2 Tablespoons genuine maple syrup (Not maple flavored sugar syrup)
1/10 Teaspoon cayenne pepper (red pepper) or to taste
8 oz water, room temperature
Combine the juice, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper in a 10 oz glass jar w/lid and fill with the water.
Shake it up and drink. (Cold water may be used if preferred.)
Use fresh (organic) lemons or limes only, never canned lemon or limejuice nor frozen lemonade or
frozen juice.

And i have to be on this for 10 days! It's not going to be easy but i have to do this. I'm thinking of starting tomorrow but that depends on if i have time to go to the store today or not.
Updates will be posted!

Thursday..later

Haha i love Ebay, just won a corset i've wanted for such a long time and for a total of 12 pounds too, WITH shipping! Too bad that i won't get to see it untill i get home in about 6-7 weeks. Same with that pink heart Playboy necklace i ordered before i whent.

Ebay is my religion! (But that's old news.)

Thursday

YES! Got a B as a final grade in my socialsciences course. I've been hyped about it since she told me yesturday morning. Whent to Ross yesturday again to look for the evenning dress i need for the opera on saturday, we're gonna watch Tosca at the LAOpera.
I found a gorgeous green satin dress at Ross for only 20$! Haven't had the chance to take a picture yet but i plan to when i'm all dressed up on saturday with my hair done and all. I also bought some clothing tape for the dress, matching earings and a pair of pink ballerina slippers. Haha AND a huge pink luggage bag, it was on sale and i have a feeling that if i keep buying shoes in my current pace i will need bigger luggage.

Monday

Today is Memorial day, it's been a loong weekend. On saturday we whent to the LACMA museum, they had a jazz consert in the evening. Yesturday we made plans to go to the planitarium but those where ruined by the weather, we whent downtown to buy tickets to the opera for next weekend. After that we whent home, made sushi and watched a movie.
Yesturday evening i finished my last assigment for the socialscienses course. I have a good chance of getting a B in the course if i write another small assigment.
Not much to write right now since not much is happening.

Wednesday

I've been rewatching The O.C. lateley. And i'm starting to find places i actually recognize now that i live here. For instance season 2 ep. 17 where they show Balboa island, which is like in Newport, now that they show it in the episode i se that took the exact same picture of it. They also mention it several times on the show. It's kinda cool seeing stuff u are used to see on tv. I also live kinda close to the Flynt publications building, it looks exactly the same as in the movie about Larry Flynt, have to photograph it. And the Beverly Wilshire hotel where Gere stays in Pretty Woman that is on Wilshire blv next to Beverly Hills and Rodeo Dr. (Next to which i live.) Pic on the right is a screencap fron The O.C. and the one on the left is the one i took of Balboa Island.

Sunday

Yesturday was awsome, i totally love my relatives...or whatever they are, Anya is so nice and we kinda connect on alot of levels. On our way to Malibu we stopped at the Lake Shrine, which was beautiful, it's a shrine to the five world religions, and it's said to have a small part of Ghandi's ashes.
Then we went to Pepperdine University..haha i know the name is funny, but the place is beautiful. It's located on the hills above Malibu beach and the view is awsome! After that we went to my beloved Santa Monica Blv. and had crepes at the Paris cafe, which reminded me of when me and mom had them in Monmartre in Paris years ago, soo cozy!



After that we took a ride thrue Rodeo Drive, which is right next to Beverly Hills, which is right next to where we live. After that we went to a shopping plaza called The Grove (http://www.thegrovela.com/) and it's so nice in the evening with all the lights. I found the Michael Kors store there. The place is full of rich teenage girls with Louis Vuitton bags, my american dream! And i of course i had to buy a bag.

Friday

Since our weekends aren't consistent, plans naturally have to change the day before they are to be executed. Today was hot, about 36 c degrees, so i stayed home all day. We had a nice dinner in the evening with candles and after that rosé wine with strawberries on the balcony, very cozy.
Tomorrow i'm finally meeting my grandma's housband's...ehm niece...? Dunno anymore but nevermind she's nice so it doesen't matter how we're related. They wanna go to Malibu which is awsome since all of The O.C. was filmed there and i know exactly where all the houses are! If we have time i'm gonna find the one that Caleb buys Julie in the end of season 1, i love that house...mansion...castle..?
In real life the house belongs to former NFL star Brian Bosworth. It's a wooping 11,000 square feet!! And like my future home or somthing! We are also going to the beach, i mean i can't go to Malibu and NOT work on my tan...that whuld be sacrelige. No but seriously i need to relax.

Thursday again

Downtown L.A. seen from the freeway.


Was in Little Tokyo downtown on sunday and took a few pics, it was in the evening so not many good ones. I'll try to do better next time. (And i'm definitly going again, love that place!)

Thursday

Long week, it's been like 26-30 c all week and i haven't even been out of the house that much. I'm glad tomorrow's friday. On monday i've been here a month, have to celebrate...or not. Saturday i'm finnaly going to Newport beach to just relax and take in alittle sun. I'm also starting to sound like the local Beverly Hills housewives for some reason, haha i've been here to long. But the funny thing is that right now i AM a Beverly Hills housewife...well technically speaking.
I recently discoverd that Britney and i are almost neighbours, haha thats a funny developement, not that i have the time to stalk her or anything, or the will for that matter.
Met the mom of Alisas friend in the park yesturday, she wasen't as stuck up as i thought, and invited us to the park again today so the kids can play together, that's good for me, that way she has someone to play with.

Bravery - Believe

The faces all around me they don't smile they just crack
Waiting for our ship to come but our ships not coming back
We do have time like pennies in a jar
What are we saving for

There's a smell of stale feeling that's drinking from my skins
The drinking never stops because the drink absolves our sins
We sit and throw our roots into the floor
What are we waiting for

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

Something's always coming you can hear it in the ground
It swells into the air
With the rising
Rising sound
And never comes but shakes the boards and rattles all the doors
What are we waiting for

So give me something to believe
Cause I am living just to breath
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done

Can't say it better if i tried...somehow that sums upp my feelings right now even though i can't fully explain the meaning, but it feels right.

Sunday

Ok plans went down the drain! We whent to Newport on saturday to some boring party in a park, but after that we went to Balboa island, which was beautiful and cozy, with beautiful houses on the beach.
Today started with a quick tripp down the street to Ross, i wasen't gonna buy anything since we went to exchange Tina's shoes. But i found the hottest boots ever and she insisted on buying them for me since they where only 10$!!! They are extremly high but surprisingly comfortable.
We also had coffe at Coffee Bean across the road. After that we desided we whould go to Santa Monica (my second home) and walk on the beach. Santa Monica reminds me of Santa Carla (the real Santa Cruz) in Lost Boys, with the ferris weel and all on the pier. Mabe that's the reason i love it so much and feel so at home there becouse acording to me it's a cozy movie. After the wonderfull beach walk we went to downtown L.A. to go to Little Tokyo, haha now that's really a place where i'd like to live, and it's kinda cheap too. It's built like a plaza with stores and restaurants, and it even has the Japanese lanterns on the trees. We had sushi there but i'm coming back to raid the shopps. PS. Roy if you come here i'll take you there, you'll looove it!

Friday

Tinas operasion went good, i think, all things considerd she is doing better than i imagined. Hope she feels even better tomorrow. Plans for tomorrow are uncertain, all depends on the weather, but considering the weather is gonna be, acording to CNN, about 20 c and cloudy. (Yeah it gets chilly in L.A. too) But it looks like the trip to O.C. is off, at least for now.
So we haven't desided what to do instead yet.

Feeling alittle bored, allthough i shuldent be since i shuld be writong my assigment which is due on sunday...Swedish time. I've done like half of it and was planing to finish it tomorrow.

I'm finally noticing exactly how hard it is to have a long distance relationship. It's painfull and more timedemanding than a normal one where you fight a number of times a day about tiny things none of you notice because they are natural everyday things that need to be argued about, and having a 30 second argument about them makes them go away in about 45 seconds, and then you move on. But put an ocean between all of this and things become much more complicated, you don't have the same 30 seconds to argue about trivial things. The end result is that you squeeze in both the trivial and important events of the day into one hour long blur along with all the other things you need and want to say to each other. It becomes a constant struggle between being angry, blowing it out of proportion and making up partly because you have to and because you miss each other and don't want to waste that short hour on fights.

In concluion the distance makes you not see things clearly and sometimes makes you lose track of whats important in the end. The important thing is to focus you'r sight on the bigger picture and the love that's still there despite the ocean and thousands of miles. In the end all you can do is hope that it's enough to get you thrue it.
PS. I love you Roy!

Tuesday

Been swamped today, had the earge to clean the apartament, and did. Kinda tired, gonna shower soon. New plans for the weekend, i finnaly called my grandma's friend and she invited me to go to Orange County during the weekend, that will be fun.

Somthing wierd happend yesturday; one of the many reasons i love L.A. is for it's many gardens...and gardeners. They are everywhere and on my way from UCLA yesturday i ran into one. He was walking towards me with a hose (i know cliche) and then he smiled at me with a sort of knowing smile and obviously thinking somthing dirrty, and suddenly i couldent hold it in...i blushed!! I still can't belive it, i NEVER blush! Especially not for some tightassed, selfassured latino gardener boy! I was so cought off guard by my reaction that i stayed in a state of chock the whole way home but God i wanted to do bad things to that cocky boy. (Still kinda do.)
It's not that he was gorgeous...although he was..it was the way he looked at me like he saw my thoughts. It still enoys me like shit that i let myself react that way. But whatever.

Monday

Nothing much has hapened today, so not much to write about. I have this strong urge to go out at night becouse i'm such a huge fan of the lost boys, and the video that 69 eyes made for the movie was shot in L.A. or Sunset strip to be exact. I love it there, there are so many referances to it and there is a famous bar there called the Rainbow bar that all the rock stars used to frequent in the 90's and still do today. It's one of Bam's fave places (Bam Margera directed the video) that's why he shot the video there, the place is famous.

Haven't called any relatives yet, i've just been swamped this weekend.
Another strange thing is that i've started sleeping with my ipod on, i never used to do that before unless i was depressed and the thoughts in my head became unbearable. Don't know why i've started doing it here...
Hope to drag Tina to that gothic club i've found on the 101 (highway), haha she seams interested to go. We'll see if we can dump the kids on Danka some night.

Santa monica somehow reminds me of Santa Cruz where Lost boys was filmed...i think it's the shore and the amusement park...

Venice

Beautiful Venice beach at sunset! (Still under the influence...)

Saturday/Sunday

Ok writing at night, and mabe alittle drunk. We had some champagne this evening after going to Venice beach, it was beautiful to see the sunset from the long pier, the sun dissapered behind the mountains.
Me and Tina finnaly went shopping together today, it was extremly fortunate because i bought the most gorgeous Calvin Klein suit, a pair of matching heels, training pants and two bags.


The pic on the left is me before going to Venice with Lost boys by 69 Eyes looping on the ipod for the second day now!

Friday

Danka was home today too cuz he crashed his car yesturday, not alot and it wasen't his fault, but he diden't have time to pic up the rental this morning since he has to leave for work at 6.00 am if he is to make it in time, and the rental company opens at 8.00 am so he desided it wasen't worth going. (It takes about 1.5 h for him to get to work if there is trafic.)
So again i got a day off. I ofcourse chose to waste it on shopping...again.
I went to Ross, the designer discount store around the corner and bought the following...a black dress, black flipflops, (sooo comfortable) Esprit sunglasses and a Guess necklace.

Thursday

Today danil is home so i get a day off, went to Starbucks with Tina on her way to work, then i walked to the old UCLA campus which is beautiful. I also went in to the UCLA store to buy that hoodie i've wanted, i'ts soo soft and cozy, i also bought a keychain there. After that i desided to go to Bebe where they had a 65% sale just for today, the sales people there are soo nice and one of them helped me pick out an outfit that was a total of 94$. (Aperantly my ass is a size 4 and my boobs are a size 6, wierd.)
After that i went to Victoria's secret, where i've been wanting to go for like ever, and got mesured for the first time in my life, aperantly i'm a 24DD (60DD eur i think.) haha i guess i should be proud or somthing, anyway i fell in love with the Angel bra that molds after my shape and also my body temrature. It's totaly fabulous! We also bought shampoo and style cream there a couple of days ago and they are really good and smell nice!