Sunday

The hollidays went by unnotised, i didn't even know it was christmas. For the better i think. Still drifting..hovering in a sense. Doing nothing during the days, stay up during the nights to do more nothing, not much happening. Have to readapt soon when school starts, go back to going to bed earlier and waking up at a semi-sane hour.

In a way i enjoy being alone, at least now it seams. I haven't spent much time alone for a long time, this might be good..i think. Still wanna go to the Aquarum and the Zoo but that will have to wait. Should read my marketing book, and i do, but not enough. In a way i think i enjoy this solitary existance right now, naybe it's what i need. Only been on vecation for a week with two weeks to go and i already just wanna go back to school.

Wednesday

Roommate left the day before yesturday, have been thinking about this ever since, why don't i feel things others feel? Is there somthing wrong with me? Or is it a good thing that i am spared these inconvenient and pointless feelings. It can be, just not when it hurts the few people i love. Sometimes i wish i had more empathy, i'm the one who can spot a psychopath a mile away, so why is it i can't figure myself out? I love him and therefore i hurt him? is it true that i indeed might be the lion and not the lamb? So stupid..these questions. Sometimes i wish i could be like those silly girls who cry because their friend is leaving, even though they will see her soon, i don't remember myself crying when i left my friends and my whole life to go to this empty desert for six months. Might it be that i am as cold as i always try to convince Jen she isn't? And yet the only person who can make me cry is the one i always hurt the most. Why? And more importantley, will i ever have the strenght to stop?

I'm in a vast hole of ignorance and apathy, again. Maybe i just don't wanna care right now, maybe i'm just protecting myself unconsciously. Who cares right? Watch Twilight on a loop, makes me feel better i guess. Pathetic. Dunno. I'm done.

Sunday

Been soo tired this week with the presentation and the partying, i have been partying a bit too much. Have to write 2 reports this week and 2 more at the end of next.
Roommate is awsome and fun, but she is leaving for the islands tomorrow and comes back on Friday just to leave for Italy next Monday. I'm jelous since she is going home.

Nothing special planned for x-mass exept beach with olga and mabe dinner at her place.
Right now i really just miss my baby i haven't spent x-mass without him since we met. And i've never talked to him this little for such long periods of time.

It has been raining here for the last 3 days, yesturday i desided to stop fighting it and walked home barefoot. It was kinda nice to feel the grass and the pavement. Haven't done that since i was a chind.

Sunday

I know i have been a bad girl, haven't had the time or energy to update this week(s). My camera is dead and i keep forgetting to load it. Gonna have to load it for wednesday, since i'm photographing the party and the preperation, so there will be a bunch of pictures of people filling upp helium balloons, and i'm sure there will be a fare share of goofing around with those helium balloons. I'm seriously considering wearing my LBD to the party, just to be rebelious since it's a white theme.

Have a bunch of homework, big parts of which i finished yesturday, just have a report in Event Industry Knowlede, but that's due at the end of all four cources on the 18th. (But by then it will have to be 4000 words)

Also have a presentation of an event pitch on Tuesday, i'm the Director, haha that's a funny thought. I'm not really the Director type.

In general, lots of homework, sunny weather which of course i can't enjoy because of my homework and some exitement about the upcoming party. Also a lot of stress. And of course i miss my baby soo much.

I swear i will have pictures up here sometime next week, after the party and the presentation of the cheque on Friday.

And i got a new roomie yesturday, she is Italian and has a shoe fetish, i'm sencing we're gonna get along just fine.

Tudelu!